Tahn on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/tahn/art/Father-s-Day-126788624Tahn

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Father's Day...

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Description

My first without my Dad here to share it with.


This pic was taken a couple of hours before Dad died. I took it because I wanted to draw it. I think I knew what was going to happen, deep down. I didn't go to school that day...I think I knew.
This day has been terrible. It's taking everything in me to hold together for Mom and Blaze. She keeps wanting me to talk about it but I can't. Not right now. I have to be stronger, I have to keep myself from falling. If I talk about it, it might become real. Right now it is just an overwhelming sadness that hits me sometimes. Its a dullness most of the time, an ache that never goes away. But there are times when it makes me want to curl up in a ball and die. I cry myself to sleep a lot but every time they come around I fight to stay afloat in this overwhelming sea of sadness. I put on a brave face and force myself to not feel anything. The day Dad died it ripped my heart apart, but I saw what it did to Mom and I decided to lock it away for a future date. They need me right now. I can't break. I won't.

I think I'm writing this to remind myself in the future that I was human, I was here and I survived. I will try to remain as strong as I can be, for as long as I can. I hope that when I crumble someone I love will be there.
Dad has been gone for 2 months, it feels like yesterday and forever ago, all at once. I just keep repeating to myself when my heart feels like it won't beat again, "He's not in pain anymore."
Image size
3072x2304px 1.36 MB
Make
Canon
Model
Canon PowerShot A560
Shutter Speed
1/8 second
Aperture
F/2.6
Focal Length
6 mm
ISO Speed
200
Date Taken
Apr 20, 2009, 8:02:30 AM
© 2009 - 2024 Tahn
Comments3
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thegilgameshlore's avatar
this is very touching. had to favorite it.